Must. Resist. Temptations. I really wanted to buy that tribal shirt but I didn't have enough money so I just had to let it go. Hais. :( If only I didn't eat KFC, I could have brought home that shirt. It's only for 10 bucks. That's pretty cheap! But oh well, I have to learn how to let go.
It's like what I went through recently. Even though I love that shirt so much, I couldn't buy it cause I didn't have enough money. Even though I loved him so much, I had to let him go cause I don't want to hurt him anymore. I just have to let go of things that I love. :'( It's saddening.
Okay, talking about sad things isn't really gonna help me with anything. I just have to move and and be happy with my life. My life right now isn't really what I wanted, but it's good enough since I still have my family (especially my parents).
This is probably why I hate being alone. But I like how peaceful it is. I can think properly. But the problem with me is, I think too much. That's a really bad thing. I'm just worrying more about things that I'm not even suppose to worry about. Thus, more problems will come out. I'm just making it worse for myself. That's why I don't like to be left alone when I'm really down.
Note: Do NOT ever leave me alone when I'm down.
But please don't disturb me when I'm in a bad mood. Bad mood =/= Feeling down. DOES NOT EQUAL TO.
Don't tell me that I didn't warn you. I did. But I guess you didn't see it. But too bad, I'm still gonna break your arm if you disturb me when I'm in a bad mood. Trust me, it's not a good idea. -evil face- Muahahaha.
But one good thing that happened today was: Benjamin finally talked to me after the break up. I didn't really expect him to chat with me so fast after the break up cause it's only been 2 days. That's quite fast. But I guess it was an emergency - he wanted to exchange the necklace. I like that necklace. It's nice but expensive. I guess it's worth the money. (: Inside of the teddy bear necklace, is a rice grain with 'Ben' written on it. It's really special to me. (: But I have to meet him tomorrow to exchange back the necklace. Kind of scared to face him since the last time I met him (which was on my birthday). But never mind, I'll show him that the choice I made to break up was a good one. I won't regret. Even if it hurt me so bad, I won't regret it. Cause I don't wanna hurt him anymore. That's the main reason why I wanna break up. I don't wanna hurt you.
Three days in a row. Once again, a new blog post. I just can't help it. I need to spill out all my thoughts to someone, but apparently, I don't feel like talking to someone. So this is the part where my blog comes along. Blog, I'm so lucky to have you. Even though you can't really talk back to me (but it would be cool if you could), I still find you useful. You're like someone that I can talk to. A platform for me to lay down all my thoughts and think straight. It's the same like a diary, but I just have to type it out (which is better, obviously). It just feels weird. I know I wanted to break up with him the week before. I felt like as if this relationship didn't really 'change' me. I felt the same. But now that I've already told him that 'let's just end this', I feel like I lost some part of me. It feels really weird. Even though I wanted us to go our separate ways, it's like I still feel sad. Am I suppose to be sad? I don't know. But I am. Not really sure why. Argh, this is killing me. I think about him before I go to sleep, and when I wake up. Am I suppose to feel this way? This weird feeling. I don't like it. It's making me feel uncomfortable. After breaking up, suddenly all the memories flashes by. All I could think of is all the memories we had. Lost memories. Memories that cannot be found again. But what I did was what I was suppose to do. I couldn't just continue this relationship and continue hurting him. I love him so much that I had to let him go so that he could be happy.
Bestfriends. That's what we should be. We should be bestfriends in the first place. The relationship kind of destroyed the bestfriend relationship. I hope we could be as close as we were before. That's what I wanted.
Because of all the experiences in 2012, I don't wanna hurt myself like this anymore. I'm gonna stay single until I really find someone who really understand me. Oh, and also when I'm mentally ready to have a boyfriend. ;)
Let's make this post into a 'letter' to give to Benjamin. It's not exactly that kind of letter that would make him feel excited, but I guess I'll have to do it eventually. Benjamin. I know that you're still angry at me. I just know it. I know that it's gonna take you some time to forgive me, but it's okay if you don't forgive me cause I know I did a horrible thing to you. I know that everything was my fault from the start. Everything will always be my fault. I admit that all the arguments and fights that we gotten in to during this relationship was obviously my fault. I cause all the problems in this relationship. Do you even still like me? After all that I did to you? If we continued this relationship, do you think that we can get better in it? I'm just kind of lost. I don't know which side to take: to break or, or continue trying. As much as I want to continue this, I think that I shouldn't. You said that you wanted to be in a relationship because you wanted to be happy. I don't think you're happy now. I'm not making you feel happy. I just make you feel more hurt. To be honest, I've been trying to 'walk away' from this problem. It's probably cause I don't really know what happened between us and also cause I don't wanna deal with it. I keep running away when I face problems. It's just like how I would want to commit suicide just cause I don't want to face problems anymore. That's how I run away from problems. I just leave it there, and never solve it. It's just me. I always do that. But now I know that I way better than that. I know that thinking about suicide isn't the 'right path'. It was just a way for me to get away with it. now I realize that I was silly to even think about suicide. I should have just solved the problem and never make the same mistake. But I guess the point that I'm trying to say is, let's just end it. Let's go our separate ways. I just don't want to make you feel hurt by me. I hate seeing you get angry because of me. It makes me feel like I'm a trouble maker. And I will just run away when I get into trouble. It makes me feel like I'm a bad person. But I don't want to be. I'm sorry that you had to waste your time on me. You really deserve someone way better than me. Really. Let's just be bestfriends just like how we used to be before. Bestfriends is what we should be in the first place. I guess that's it. I hope he'll understand.
I'm just confused. That's all. I don't know what's happening. It's like, too many things happened, and I just couldn't catch up. Everything just happened so fast. Rushed. Whoosh. Poof. Gone in a second. Just too many shit happening here and there. Benjamin, I'm sorry. I truly am. I know I said this a thousand times, but I swear, I meant it when I said every 'sorry' to you. You might think that this 'sorry' is gonna be the same as every 'sorry' that I said, but please, I just want you to hear me out. Let's just get the story straight. To be honest, during the week that you went off for OCIP, I did felt lonely. I started to think about many things. I thought about whether we just rushed into this relationship. I thought about how I could survive having to concentrate on studies and on this relationship. I thought about how young we are to even think that we can handle this relationship. I mean c'mon, don't you think we're too young? To me, a relationship is like an extra burden to me. It's not because of you or 'the person that I'm in a relationship with', but it's just that the effort that we have to give FOR the relationship is like a lot. For example, if I don't give a full 100% in our relationship, then you would think that I don't love you enough, then obviously that's gonna end in an argument. A VERY BIG ARGUMENT. Didn't you say that you wanted to be in a relationship to be happy? How is 'being in a very big argument' happy? I'm just saying that the burden is, I have to give 100% to this relationship no matter how long it lasts. I mean, we're still pretty young. This year is a really rough year for me, and you know that. This year is probably the year that changed me. I became more depressed. I just 'changed'. I don't like how I always would cry at home when I get back from school. I don't like it how people will always have to cheer me up. I don't like it how people have to 'look out for me'. For the first time, I thought about killing myself. It all started this year. All the bad things. Depression. Suicidal. I hate it that when I go out with my friends and I would suddenly become quiet because of thinking about the money problems, then I end up breaking down. I hate it that people could see me breaking down. I hate it. I would never want people to see me be weak. I would always be the party pooper. I really don't like it when people have to look out for me just so I don't do any stupid stuff. It's like 'DUDE, I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF'. The point is, I just don't think I can handle this, you know. I just want to be young and stay young forever. Looking back at my childhood photos and seeing how bright my smile is, I just want to stay that way forever. Be happy, and never get sad. Don't have to worry about things. But I have to knock some sense into me, knock knock. Back to reality. We can't stay young forever. We grow up. Get old. Worry about more things. It's a jungle out there, we have to survive independently. But we are just taking it lightly. We keep thinking that we're old enough already. We keep thinking about how we wanna be adults now. But thinking about it again, I really don't want to. I want to be younger. I don't wanna get older. It just sucks. I don't care if I'm young, and I can't get into a relationship. I would be happy enough that I'm young. Just like what One Direction said, let's just live while we're young. I'm not saying that I can't like somebody or anything, I just think that being in a relationship is not a really good thing right now. :/ I'm sorry that I made you feel hurt. I know that I shouldn't hang out with guys too often. I know that it wasn't the right thing to do. I just needed someone to hear me out, and distract me. I don't know why, but my feelings aren't that 'stable'. It's like, for one moment, I can miss you like crazy, but the next moment, it's like I don't want to get close to you. I really don't know why but maybe it's because many things are happening right now. My mind isn't thinking properly. I just feel lost and confused. I don't know what's gotten into me. Do you even still like me? I mean, after what I did to you. Don't you think that I hurt you too much? I admit okay, it's my fault. I know it is. It forever is my fault. BUT..... To be honest, I don't like how you have 'conditions' that I have to follow. Something like, I have to always stand on your right. I can't stand up when you're sitting down. I'm not saying that I hate these 'conditions', it's just that it's kinda weird for me. Okay to make it fair, I can have my own conditions too.
I don't want you to keep holding my hand. I have a phobia okay. I feel scared that people whom I know will see me holding a hand with a guy. Especially someone who is related to my family. Cause most of my close relatives, live near my area. So yeah. :/ It's not that I'm not proud of you being mine, it's just that I find it .. weird.
I don't want you to always have to send me home. Because you will tend to ask me to stay under the block to talk. I HAVE A PHOBIA OKAY. I'm scared that someone will see us together. I'm not talking about only under my block, but the area around my block. I just don't like it I don't know why. I'm happy enough if you can just send me at the bus stop. Seriously, that's enough.
I want my own time alone too. I don't want to always have to meet you every single day. For example, if I'm free for the whole week, I don't want to go out for all the 7 days. I want my space. :/ I want to be alone for some time.
Yep I think that's all. I know I sound bitchy and everything. I DON'T CAREEEEEE. Bleh.
But seriously, I'm having mixed feeling right now. >< I don't think I can handle this relationship, but it's like I want to keep trying. But if I do, then I'll keep making you feel hurt cause bad things keep happening. Gah, this is so confusing. I'm sorry.
Let's rewind back to that day, 5th November 2012 ..
Whooshhhhhh. ._. That was lame.
Okay never mind, I know I am lame. -peace-
To start off, that day was the day that I went to Universal Studios of Singapore (USS). I went with Benjamin and his clique. A bit awkward to be honest, cause they mostly talk in Mandarin and I'm there like, krik krik, awkwardddddd. I felt kind of left out cause of language barriers. I should really try to learn Mandarin sia, I'm sick of being the one not being able to 'socialize' cause of language barriers. Just saying.
Since it was my first time being in USS, I was quite excited for this trip, and for the fact that I'm going with friends instead of family. To me, I think it's better to go with friends, cause you get to do just whateverrrr you want. Like seriously. But one disadvantage is money. Argh, money. I only got 20 bucks that day. I'm lucky that I survived with just 20 bucks. Phew.
The first thing that caught my eye when I went there was, obviously the rollercoaster! Ah, it's been a long time since I've rode a rollercoaster. I couldn't wait to have that feeling of being scared and i-shouldn't-have-queued -up-for-this-rollercoaster-ride feeling before the ride and the let's-go-again feeling after the ride. You know that feeling? It's awesome. (: -thumbs up-
To keep this story short, we rode mostly 'rollercoaster' rides. The Mummy ride was great. We rode that ride three times, and to be honest, I'm not sick and tired of it. Even though I rode it three times already, I'd still be scared of what's gonna happen when I go for the same ride again. Haha, how weird of me. The Transformers ride was awesome! The long wait was truly worth it. Really. If I had the whole day spent there, I would go for that ride time and time again even if I have to wait 30 minutes for that same ride. That's how awesome it is. (: -double thumbs up-
For the rollercoasters, there's two; Human and Cylon (we thought it was 'Cyclone' haha). The Human was the red while Cyclon was the blue. I actually wanted to ride both of them since it was my first time being there and I would want to try all the rides but they thought that it wasn't 'scary' enough. So yeah, sad face. :( But at least I got to ride the Human. Twice. In a row. Awesome shit. The starting of the ride already made me feel the my-heart-is-jumping-up-and-down feeling. Woah, awesome. Held Alvina's hand for the first time that I rode that ride cause we were both scared. Haha. Good times. (: If I get the chance to go there again, I'll definitely ride all the rides. I don't care if I have to go alone, I'll just go. (:
The highlight of the day! Imagine this: Me dancing Oppan Gangnam Style in front of whole bunch of people that I don't know. Well, don't imagine too much, cause it's true! The Rockafellas. Because of them, I danced. (: I volunteered myself. Proud moment. Heh. One of the members, who is also the 'emcee', went to out side of the crowd and asked for a volunteer. Just like what I would do, we backed away. But he kept on asking for a volunteer and since nobody was willing, I just volunteered myself. I like trying new things. It's interesting. (:
Kind of shy doing these stuff though, plus it was in front of a big crowd. Why wouldn't I not be shy? He asked us to spread out and spread out our arms. We, volunteers, did a wave chain and even did a freestyle individually. AH! Scary! I'm not that good in dancing even though I do know a few kpop dances.
The worse thing is, I was the first to be selected to dance freestyle. Ah! Scary shit. I ended up dancing 'Oppan Gangnam Style'. Oh gosh. Just kill me already. It was so embarrassing. But never mind, at least the Rockafellas danced together with me and the crowd wasn't silent (surprise!). Oh yeah. *Achievement unlocked* That's it, I'm awesome. Haha. OKAY STAHP.
I felt so excited (I don't know why) after dancing. Hahah. There was a photo session with the Rockafellas afterwards but the queue was long so we ended up going to go for other rides. :( I felt kinda sad cause the Rockafellas made me more confident and I would want to capture that moment, you know? So yeah. :/
BUT HEY! I GOT THE PICTURE THAT I WANTED AFTERWARDS! YAY HAPPY ME. -mini celebration- We went to the 6:30 show afterwards cause Alicia wanted to. We watched the performance again. It was awesome even though it was the second time I watched it. (:
The group photo that I had in my phone. Argh, it's blurry. Sadded. :(
But never mind, this was Alicia's photo in her camera. Awesome quality. (:
After we took the group photo, I was dying to take a picture with him. As I was waiting to ask for a photo with him, he smiled at me and gave me a winked. Kyaa! -melts- ;)
I'm lucky that I got to take a photo with him. Kyaa! ;)
So later at home, I did a little 'research' (and no, it was not stalking pshh). I found out that his name is Eden Ang. He's super talented. He can dance, sing and even plays different instruments. I admire him. He was even a judge for Danceworks. He even makes videos on Youtube. (: I searched for videos of Rockafellas cause I really enjoyed their performance.
I enjoyed watching this one! (:
Hmm, if only someone posted a video of me dancing Oppan Gangnam Style. HAHAH. Nah, that won't happen. It would be hilarious. But still.. O.O Oh well. I think this is it. I really want to go back there during the holidays again, and watch them perform! Number 15! :D
It just happened so suddenly. It felt so .. sudden. That feeling ... ;) I'll never forget it. The thoughts that went through my mind when you did it. Why did you do it? Why so fast? Even though it was just a peck on the cheek, it made my heart beat faster. Unknowingly, I just put on a smile. It was so unexpected. I didn't know that you had the courage to do that. Right after that kiss, we made a small hug while holding our hands, then went off to our separate ways. (went back home, not breaking up ._. lol)
I'll never forget this date. 2nd October.
You lied to me the day before saying that you weren't going to attend school. I put a lot of sad faces. I felt really sad knowing that I won't see you for four days straight. :( It really saddens me.
But the moment I saw you today, the very first second that I saw you, my mood suddenly became better, I felt happier. It put on a big smile on my face. I miss you. I really do. Do you know that? The moment I saw you, even though you were facing your back towards me, you looked handsome. With that smile of yours. I felt happy to call you mine. You're mine. Only mine. Nobody else's.
Please don't lie to me like that again. It worries me. I didn't know that I would really miss you that much.
I love you. I really do. I don't want to lose you like the previous time. Please don't let me go okay. Maybe this relationship might really last long (or even forever, I hope so). I don't care if we go through ups and downs, as long as we go through it together, please don't let me go just yet. Don't give up on me so easily okay. I know I might be bitchy or naggy, just know that I'm doing so because I love you.
What if I really like you back? After everything that we've been through, would you still want to be with me? It's just so confusing. I want us to be back together. But it's not easy. Cause Ahmad still likes me, and he thinks that I'm 'the one'. He's willing to even wait for me until I'm 'ready' to be with him.
No. I don't want it to be like that. I want you to focus more on other stuff instead of holding on to me. You don't have to wait for me okay. The time that you spent (which might be quite long) might be useless. What if, after all the waiting, I decide to leave you? That's why I don't want you to wait for me. I don't know the future. You too. So why are you trying to wait for someone that you don't even know will be 'the one' for you? I'm so sorry. Let's just stay as friends for now. Nothing less, nothing more. Don't wait for me. If you do, you're just trying to hurt yourself, cause I will probably just try to avoid you. I'm sorry, but I have no feelings for you anymore. I don't think that we'll ever be more than friends. We've been through it before okay. To be honest, it wasn't a great relationship. I'm sorry if I keep hurting you. Just forget me, and you'll be okay. I don't want to keep hurting you this way. I'm sorry.
If only I have the courage to text you that big lump of words, but no. I don't. I'm sorry okay. I really am. I know we've been friends for 6 years and counting but I just don't want you to be hurt by me like this again. So, back to topic. Do you have the same feelings as I do? My heart started beating really fast when I heard Fengying asking me "Do you think that you might have feelings for Lion again?". Of course I couldn't say yes. Cause I don't know if he has the same feelings for me. But deep down, I really wanted to say that I might have feelings for him again. Today, I really felt like as if we were already together. As in, already a couple. I want us to be like that forever please. We sat side by side in the library. You would put your hand behind my back just to poke me. You would keep rolling your eyes to me. At the interchange, we would play the SNAP game. Love it. It like we're imitating each other. I just like that moment. I wouldn't want to go home, I just want to be with you. I don't know what to do. I'm just so confused. Me and my confused mind. Silly me. Please be with me, and never leave. Ever.
When we're together, I get happy again, without myself knowing, I put on a smile
I don't know what I'm feeling. What if I really do have those feelings for you again? Would you have the same feelings too? Would you feel the same way that I do for you? All these questions fill my mind. Everytime I see you, without me knowing, I put on a smile. I feel happy all of a sudden, knowing that you're there. I would look out for you everywhere I go.
When we're together, everything becomes alright. Painful memories disappear
I feel more comfortable when you're around. You're a really great guy. You can easily make me laugh. You really help me out when I'm down or having a hard time. Why can't you just stay, and be with me?
I've been thinking about you more nowadays. Eveytime I'm online, I always look forward to chatting with you. You're probably the guy that I'm most comfortable with. Even if you send me home, I don't even feel awkward. At all.
I know that you might not have good looks, or a great muscular body. I don't care about that. I just, like you for who you are. So please stay that way.
You're the first guy that I went out alone with. I thought that it would be awkward, but surprisingly, it wasn't at all.
Please like me too. I like you. Alot. It's just that you might not notice it. I don't care if we had a bad past, as long as our future is fine, then things would be great.
20 September 2012 Just kill me now. Take a knife. Stab me. Take a gun. Shoot me down. I don't care. Just kill me. Take away all the misery that I have. I can't take it anymore. It's just too much. Today is the day that I had the most severe and serious thoughts of killing myself. I know that you might think that 'That's stupid.', 'Why would you think of such a thing?' or, 'What's wrong with you?'. Yeah, you might think that it's stupid, but you've never been in my situation. You've never had those thoughts before. It got so serious, to the point that I wanted to kill myself.
Those thoughts are coming to me again. Those sickening thoughts. Those thoughts are haunting me now. I just can't seem to get them out of my head. I've been really stressed out these days. Not just because of the upcoming exams, but also because of friends and all. There's really too many things that's in my head now. Damn, I worry too much. :/ Not a good thing.. First problem: Ahmad Why can't you just leave me alone? I'm sorry okay that I didn't promise you that. I thought about it again, and I just think that I really can't make any promises. If I did promise you that, then you'd me like me finance. No, I don't want 'chop' you or anything okay. The idea of it kind of makes me feel weird. You keep bugging me, and asking all those questions. I'm hearing those questions all over and over again. And I have to answer you all over and over again. You already know what's my answer right? Why do you need to have me to say it myself? I mean, those texts that I sent Syukri was already what I was thinking of, then there you have it. My answers. In those texts. Isn't it enough? Aren't you satisfied? But obviously, you weren't. Then you texted me to talk to you in the morning. I did. But we didn't even talk a single thing about the situation. Might as well you don't even come to me. Seriously? I hate it that I will always see you a thousand times each day. It makes it harder for me to avoid you now. You keep saying that you understand my problems and all, but no. You don't. Stop saying that you do. Stop lying. You don't know what it feels like to be in my shoes now okay. So you better shut your mouth. Second problem: Syukri and Farhana I'm happy for you guys, honestly. But I kind of regretted helping both of you get together. I didn't thought about what might happen after he confessed. There are two possible situations: 1. Hayati will kill me2. Benjamin will kill me Hayati's Once Hayati knows that Farhana and Syukri likes each other, she's gonna freak out. Cause her own best friend didn't tell that she has crush on the same guy. The worse thing is, Hayati even talks about him with Farhana, without knowing that Farhana likes him too. If I was Hayati, I would really feel betrayed. So this is the part where I step in.. I actually helped Farhana and Syukri to get together. I myself knows that Hayati has a crush on him. Hayati would be angry at me bacause I didn't even tell her about Farhana liking him too. So yeah, I'm gonna be killed by Hayati once she knows that I helped them 'get together'. Benjamin's I'm so sorry Benjamin. You're really gonna kill me when you know that I was involved in it too. I was the one who helped them get together. I'm so gonna be dead if you still have feelings for her, and I didn't even bother to tell you that Farhana likes someone else. I really feel sorry towards you okay. I really do. I'm not lying. Out of all the people involved, the person that I'm most sorry to is you. You've helped me a lot, especially during times of hardship. I appreciate everything that you've done for me, but in return I gave you bullshits like this. I'm really sorry okay. You don't know how much I feel sorry for you. ><
You can be such a bitch, can't you? I've had enough with you. I really thought that you changed, but I was wrong. You were the same as before. Exactly the same. Yes, I do have problems with you. You don't fail to irritate me everytime, don't you? Problem 1: You text me almost ALL THE TIME! Have you got nothing else to do than text me all day long? Don't you find it tiresome to text me everyday without fail? I get irritated you know. Like seriously, very irritated. Damn. Problem 2: You're over protective Why do you have to keep asking we about what I'm doing? Dude, I'm not taking drugs or anything. -.- I can take care of myself. I won't do anything stupid okay, even if I talk about it. i Problem 3: You always expect fast replies. Patience is a virtue. You really can't wait just a few minutes for me to reply you, huh? I was probably busy with stuff at home, and instead of waiting PATIENTLY for my reply, you spam my inbox and say that "Are you ignoring me?". DUDE, I WAS BUSY. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO REPLY YOU AT THE SPEED OF LIGHTNING? I HAVE A LIFE TOO OKAY. -.- Problem 4: You always expect me to answer correctly. What I mean is, you would always expect me to answer you exactly as the same answer that you're thinking of. If you get what I mean.. I hate it when you do that. I end up not answering truthfully just because I want to make you feel happy if I answered the way you imagined it. Problem 5: You 'assume' and then say bye. You know, sometimes I really did what to reply you, but just because I REPLIED YOU SLOW, you quickly 'assume' that I was ignoring you, and then you would say, " Fine if you want to ignore me then. Bye." I really hate it when you do it okay. There's a few more problems that I have about you, but I'm just too lazy to explain it more. You see, I'm that type of person that it more comfortable if I talk face to face. I don't really like to text because I won't be able to see people's reactions. That's why sometimes my replies might seem cold. (when it's actually not) I'm sorry if I'm being too straightforward okay. I might sound bitchy too. I'm sorry for all of that. It's just that I can't take all this bullshits already. I've been entertaining all this, and I can't take it anymore. It's too much for me. But at least for this post, I'm really being honest.
Damn, I'm starting to get really addicted to blogging. I guess it's just cause' this is the only place where I can really say out all my feelings without anybody judging me. Hehh ~ Feels good. (: So anyways, yesterday was an awesome day. This week has been really really awesome. Hahah. Me and Farhana went out at 11am to go to Ang Mo Kio to make her new ezlink, and surprisingly, making the ezlink was a very fast process. Her ezlink was made there and then. Hahah, it took me about half an hour to make it. :'( Sad. Hahah, oh well. Afterwards, we met with Syukri and Ahmad at Cwp's Mac. We ate then Yanni came along. Then, we went to my house. It was the first time for Ahmad after 6 years ... 6 years is a longlong time. Hahah.In my house, Syukri, Yanni and Farhana watched Invincible Youth feat. Beast (awesome episode!), while Ahmad and Jimmy watched Despicable Me.
After going to my house, we all went to Cikgu Faisal's house. His house was awesome. It was just so comfy. I could have just slept there.It was like a fantasy.His children are so cute, especially the little one, but he was shy. :( Oh well, there's always next time to meet that little kid. ;) Afterwards, we made our way to Cwp to go catch a movie. Sadly, Yanni couldn't make it cause' he has tuition. :( Now it was left with 5 of us, including Adilah. We watched The Apparation. It was scary at first, I kept trying to cover my eyes. But Ahmad kept pulling my hand and forcing me to watch it. :( I'm a scaredy cat. To be honest, this movie was really badly made. It didn't make any sense. The movie ended without any explanation. Stupid movie. -.- Wasted 7 bucks for this. The movie really disappointed us. So we decided to watch another movie. ParaNorman. This movie was the bomb! It was really funny. And definitely, wayyyy better than the previous movie even though it was a kid's movie. I really enjoyed this movie.
What if you really get to be with him, and I get to be with him ? Won't it be a win-win situation. You get your guy, and I get mine. I wonder how it would turn out if it really happens. I don't really mind if we're like this. It's like, two bestfriends liking another two bestfriends. Get it ? Everytime we would go out, it would be a double date. ;) He would send you home, and he would send me home. This would be just like a fairytale. A fantasy. A dream that I won't ever want to wake up from. Okay, this might sound confusing, but at least it makes sense to me.
Talked to her yesterday since we had to go raya with friends. I didn't want us to ignore each other, so I decided that I should just let bygones-be-bygones. I know that it's not worth being angry at her, but she went too far across the line. I just hope that she doesn't do this to me again, if not byebye to you. Yesterday's raya was awesome as hell. :D We went to a lot of houses yesterday. I ended up going home at 23:30, and I only had 1 phone call from my Dad. Booyah. (: Yay! I collected abouut 30 bucks yesterday. I shall just not use this money, and save it for future purposes. Haha! Today was just as awesome as yesterday! I went to Chinese Garden with Fengying for the AVA competition, but turns out that the Chinese Garden was closed. :( Then I found out that I lost my ezlink on the way there.I'm such a clutz...Damn, I was unlucky. So we had to walk all the way back to Chinese Garden mrt, and oh lookie, I found my ezlink lying on the floor under the hot sun. Haha, I guess my ezlink card photo was just too ugly that people don't even want to take my ezlink. Haishh. Sad life. Oh well, at least i found my ezlink. Heh. ;) Then we decided to go to Chinatown instead. We were completely lost there. We were like lost children. Haha! We took some shots there too!
Oh yeah, the Moon cake festival! :)
Colourful lanterns.
I just like this shot. The effects just makes the building look old and vintage. Well, actually it is, so yeah. ;)
Today's the first day that I wore this shoe after I got it last Friday. Heh, I was very excited to wear it. (:
So, after we went to Chinatown, we went to Clementi to eat cause I didn't even had a proper breakfast. :(
Afterwards, I went back to Woodlands alone. I took bus 900, but I ended up riding for the whole round back to the interchange. -.- Thanks Yonglok -.- So I took 901, and luckily, I reached there. Hah.Yonglok, Syukri & Irfan was there flying kite. It was damn awesome. (:
Yonglok trying to teach me how to fly a kite.
I loveee this shot.
Syukri trying to go down the slope, but ended up falling. HAHA.
Who are my real friends? I'm so confused. You lied to me. You hide things from me. Isn't this enough already? You've hurt me enough already, you can stop now. Cause I don't want to entertain all the bullshits you're giving me. I really thought that you're my best friend, now I can't even believe I called someone like you MY 'bestfriend'. I trusted you will all my secrets and all my true feelings. I told you that I liked someone else, yet you still didn't dare to own up? I saw that message with my own eyes. I knew it from the beginning. I was suspicious of you two, but after awhile, I let that dirty thought go. But now I know the really reason behind that heart-shaped message. Things will never be the same between you and me. Come and lie to me again, and I'll regard you as a stranger. Someone that I've never met. Someone that I've never knew existed in this imperfect world. I wanted us to be like this, but now, I don't think it's ever possible.
