Feels weird.

Three days in a row. Once again, a new blog post. I just can't help it. I need to spill out all my thoughts to someone, but apparently, I don't feel like talking to someone. So this is the part where my blog comes along. Blog, I'm so lucky to have you. Even though you can't really talk back to me (but it would be cool if you could), I still find you useful. You're like someone that I can talk to. A platform for me to lay down all my thoughts and think straight. It's the same like a diary, but I just have to type it out (which is better, obviously). 

It just feels weird. I know I wanted to break up with him the week before. I felt like as if this relationship didn't really 'change' me. I felt the same. But now that I've already told him that 'let's just end this', I feel like I lost some part of me. It feels really weird. Even though I wanted us to go our separate ways, it's like I still feel sad. Am I suppose to be sad? I don't know. But I am. Not really sure why. Argh, this is killing me. I think about him before I go to sleep, and when I wake up. Am I suppose to feel this way? This weird feeling. I don't like it. It's making me feel uncomfortable. After breaking up, suddenly all the memories flashes by. All I could think of is all the memories we had. Lost memories. Memories that cannot be found again. But what I did was what I was suppose to do. I couldn't just continue this relationship and continue hurting him. I love him so much that I had to let him go so that he could be happy. 

Bestfriends. That's what we should be. We should be bestfriends in the first place. The relationship kind of destroyed the bestfriend relationship. I hope we could be as close as we were before. That's what I wanted. 

Because of all the experiences in 2012, I don't wanna hurt myself like this anymore. I'm gonna stay single until I really find someone who really understand me. Oh, and also when I'm mentally ready to have a boyfriend. ;)