I hate how something that I thought was a habit or so-called a normal everyday thing, changed into something that I didn't expect. I hate it how now, I don't even want to face my own mother in fear that I would cry in front of her thinking about how she doesn't care about me anymore.
Ever since the start of the year, everything's been such a pain in my ass. I started this year very badly. I can surely say that the year 2013, isn't going to be a good one for me too. I just want everything to go back to how it originally was.
Everything changed so fast, that I couldn't even catch up. Everything changed right in front of my eyes, and I still don't want to accept the fact that everything isn't like how it used to be.
Yesterday was one of the roughest day I've ever had. I was awake till 2 in the morning listening to just one song. K.will - Please don't. I cried all night long thinking about how we're not together anymore. I keep thinking about us. You. You were all over my mind.
Listening to that song, and looking at your photos or even thinking about you, can instantly make me cry my eyes out. This song is so powerful that I can actually feel the singer's emotions in the song even though the song is totally in a different language. That's how powerful it is.
That song will probably be one of my favorite songs ever. Whenever I listen to that song, you will suddenly pop into my mind.
Benjamin. Please tell me to stop. Stop thinking about you all day long. Trust me, it's killing me inside. It hurts so bad knowing that you're no longer someone that I can tell all my secrets too. We became strangers and I really hate that. I never wanted us to be strangers. I never once thought that we'd ever be strangers. Please don't do this to me. I cried all night thinking about how I did wrong and how I caused you pain. I cried silently in fear that I'd wake someone up. That's probably the worse way to cry. Please tell me that I'm not suppose to worry about this kind of things anymore. Seriously, I don't know anymore. The more I look at you, the more I feel like crying. The more I think about you, the more I think about the past. How do I stop all of this? Please, I feel like I can die any second. I feel so lost, confused. I'm filled with regrets. The more I keep thinking about the reason why we broke up, the more regretful I feel. And it hurts even more knowing that you won't do a thing about it now cause you don't know what I'm feeling now. Benjamin, when you look into my eyes, please tell me that you can see me dying inside. It hurts that whenever I look at you, I have to stop myself from crying and instead smile. Benjamin, please save me from all of this. Please.
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